Posted by When politicos around the state climb into Santa’s lap, what do they ask the jolly old elf to bring them? Elves around the state eavesdropped and passed the wishes along for us.
Political Parlor’s
Top Ten Christmas Wishes in Alabama Politics
10. Joe Reed… oh please, oh please… a Jim Folsom for Governor campaign.
9. Upstate legislators want earplugs so as not to hear the cry for coastal insurance reform from downstate.
8. Paul Hubbert wants Santa to bring a hatchet he can bury with Bradley Byrne. Though he’s being cagey on where he’ll bury it.
7. Ron Sparks wants to “… be a winner, too!”
6. Ethics Commission? Subpoena power.
5. Alabama wants the Air Force to have the biggest and best tanker we can build.
4. Hank Erwin… oh please, oh please… a Jim Folsom for Governor campaign.
3. National Dems hope Santa could bring them Alabama Blue Dogs that are a little less dog and a little more blue.
2. Kay Ivey… a campaign schedule that is slightly less PACT.
1. Bill Johnson wants… well… we have no idea what he wants. Seriously. Santa doesn’t know. Nobody knows.
Want more? Keep reading!
Political Parlor’s
Second Ten Christmas Wishes in Alabama Politics
20. Alabama legislators want a really, really big wallet to carry those large, foam board checks.
19. State Republicans? Ethics reform. Or another year beating Dems about the head with it. A win either way.
18. Alabama’s children tell Santa a little peace on earth and good will towards all is needed. And please, Santa, toilet paper and soap at school. New textbooks, maybe?
17. Tim James wants Santa to deliver him as the Right candidate
16. Once again, Herman Thomas has not been good and gets only a paddle. Which, once again, kinda works out okay.
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| Thousands turn out in Montgomery in support of Roy Moore and his Ten Commandments monument in August 2003. |
15. Artur Davis wishes Santa Claus would bring a little sense of inevitability to the state Democratic establishment.
14. Roy Moore wants to party like it’s 1999 er… 2003.
13. Paragon… a telephone number and website so maybe people will just shut the %@!! up about it.
12. Those who provide kickbacks want a Birmingham mayor who will be in office long enough for the check to clear.
11. Les Phillip? How about the $36k that the Mike Huckabee fundraiser cost him?
Many thanks to those around the state who helped with the list, including J.N., reader D., and other elves!
Actually we have a few more…
Bill Johnson wants a wedgie from Bob Riley. Apparently.
Seth Hammett… soft ride into a beautiful sunset.
Nine gubernatorial candidates hope Santa brings them a promise of change of address in 2011.
Birmingham city bookkeeper would like a little help with all the paperwork every time the mayor changes.
Donors to the Governor’s Circle? R.O.I., and that means seats, baby.
State Legislators? A big ol’ Magic Budget Genie.
Ron Sparks wants a little touch-up paint to strike the “Lt” in all those “Sparks for Lt Gov” signs.
Birmingham News wants Santa to bring handkerchiefs for wiping the egg off their faces if their 2010 polls are as bad as their 2006 polls.
Tea partiers want Santa to bring them reminders about why they were so quiet about the debt when Bush was president.
Luther Strange wants a new tennis racket – that he will be able to enjoy after the campaign.
Troy King hopes Santa brings the state some stingy bingo machines and big lawsuit verdicts so he’ll have ample campaign funds.
Roy Moore wants Santa to bring him a can of Chuck Norris whoop-assTM he can open on his GOP challengers.
A big ol’ dumpster for the big ol’ Constitution.
Regina Benjamin: couldn’t a Surgeon General have a Surgeon Army with at least a few Surgeon Majors, Colonels, and Privates?
Patrick Cooper wants a Birmingham mayor whose name does not ring a Bell.
Robert Bentley wants a little name ID.
Independent candidates? Some respect for running based on conviction.
Alabama’s voters hope Santa brings candidates to pick from instead of settle for.
Merry Christmas! I hope the holidays bring you good things.
Wow after reading, how about:
Danny wants a job with the Democratic Party,
Zeb wants a…water
Turnham wants to get up off his knees so Hubbard will quit blasting his ass in special elections.
Danny, maybe talk to a few Republicans next year
Great list, Danny!
Let’s all get some rest the next week. I suspect that 2010 is going to be really exciting.
Thanks, countrycat. I’m already wondering if I can keep up.
Anonymous, it’s simply meant as a fun list poking a little fun at topical subjects. I talked to plenty of Republicans and Democrats for this list. I am not sure what your point is here, because being mentioned is not necessarily a good thing.
But let’s see… by the numbers, in the 1st ten, counting mentions of a party and counting people who are clearly identified with a party, a quick count shows me three items pointed toward Republicans and three pointed toward Democrats, with one (#8) about Hubbert, Byrne, and the hatchet that kinda (forgive me for this) cuts both ways.
(Can’t believe it’s Christmas Eve, and I’m here looking at lists and counting on my fingers!)
On the second ten, I see four that mention Republicans – one of them is quite positive (#19), and two more or less neutral (14 and 17). Democrats are mentioned three times, twice that are negative or allude to scandal (16 and 19). That doesn’t even count #12 which also points to scandal involving Democrats. Am I miscounting?
So I am not sure that I see the basis of your complaint. Perhaps you would like to be more specific? And shoot me your contact info and I’ll be glad to involve you next go ’round. As you already figured out, if your favorite target is not appropriately skewered, you may add them here.
Don’t you have some wrapping to do? :)
Artur Davis wants to change his skin color.
Alabama Democrats want the Corruption Investigations to stop.
seems to me Bill Johnson wants a better Alabama…and to stop political corruption…seems very honest unless someone can show me otherwise…
merry christmas !
CC Dollar would like ALL types of gambling Legal in our state. Horse racing, dog racing, dog/cock fighting, slot machines, and a little game of grab ass is all we want down here in Houston County. You know how we in the wire grass kick-it!
Merry Christmas folks! In 2010, lets make this place look like Biff’s Joint in the classic film, Back to the Future, II.
Yes We Can?
Danny at Doc’s Political Parlor-
A win for King in the AG’s race. God knows he’s done just about everything to help the King camp look good on here.
Go Shelby County Repubs…. SHhhhhhh
good list!
and nice to offer but no way are you hearing from anonymous with contact info after that embarassment.
gotta fight the crowds 1 more time.
have a great Christmas!
I think Turnham has acually won more of the special elections than Hubbard. Butch Taylor, James Fields,Elaine Beech, P. Dunn, L. McAdory. Hubbard has only won one the Paul Sanford race.
Bobly Byrne wants the voters to have amnesia about his sponsorship of the 1.2 Billion dollar tax hike and his support of Bill Clinton.
JJ, you forget Phil Williams. And both willams and Sanford were D seats that flipped, a little different than winning those you’re supposed to, like turnham has. Turnham’s like those men that chris Rock talks about who brag about paying child support… you’re supposed to!
And Danny, sorry, but the bias exists, and it is all in fun certainly. Probably unintentional.
I think Les Phillip wants Danny to realize that he’s a legitimate threat equal to or more so than Mo Brooks. Brooks is more well known but not well liked outside of South Huntsville.
How about a Christmas swap: Les Phillip can trade one of his first names for one of Parker Griffith’s last names.
Bob Riley would like a new Indian Headdress, no more questions about the Paragon no bid contract and another few million for his son’s stocking
Merry Christmas to all!
Anonymous (on the 24th, 8:06 pm), come back when you want to make a case for your claim. You have not accepted my invitation to be more specific, and simply saying “Is so! Is so!” is not a particularly compelling argument. Saying something is so does not make it so, and you’ve otherwise made no case.
Rev. Bob, very funny!
Funny list. Nice way of saying “put up or shut up” in the last comment too.