A Very Special Order

PROPOSED BY THE RULES COMMITTEE
FOR WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1, 2009
THE 16TH LEGISLATIVE DAY

HR _______ SPECIAL ORDER CALENDAR BY: HOUSE RULES COMMITTEE

BE IT RESOLVED BY THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES OF THE LEGISLATURE OF ALABAMA, That immediately upon the adoption of this resolution, the following business, in the order set forth below, shall not be the special and paramount order of business for the 16th legislative day taking precedence over the regular order of business or any pending or unfinished business.

Representative Knight:
HB1400
State revenues, sales tax removed from food and whiskey, tax levied on air and dirt, revenues earmarked for country club improvements

Representative Black:
HB1998
Entertainment incentives, providing for table games and full-blown casinos, ownership of existing facilities transferred to Judiciary Committee chair, country music stars access provided for, income tax exemptions for showgirls

Representative Ward:
HB1994
Economic development, earmarking federal stimulus monies for the purchase of night clubs and saloons, further prohibiting dancing and carousing on Sundays

Representative Jackson:
HB3067
Alcoholic beverages, legalizing the sale and promoting the trade of high-alcohol-content white whiskey, repeals anti-bootlegging statutes, naming law the Free The Corn Act, prohibiting the use of corn as feed for fighting roosters

Representative Payne:
HB1999
Tobacco, cigarette lighters prohibited, matches regulated, fires caused by lightning strikes and flint sparks approved, confiscated lighters designated for North Carolina no smoking campaign

Representative Lindsey:
HB9547
Film incentives, tax credits for professional movies, tax levied on home movies, further provides for confiscation of unsuitable videos for storage in legislative archives and establishment of legislative viewing room, special tax credit for Catherine Zeta-Jones, Julia Roberts, and Angelina Jolie.

Representative DeMarco:
HB1702
Ethics, increasing the amount of a thing of value, gifts prohibited from family members, gifts allowed from lobbyists not to exceed $50,000 a day, receipt of football tickets prohibited for non-conference games, transferring powers of Ethics Commission to new state Gaming Commission

Representative McLaughlin:
HB6091
Elections, campaigns, prohibit six-pack to six-pack contributions, special tax credits for dry cleaners and numbers runners

Representative Wren:
HB5309
Energy incentives, providing tax credits for wood fireplace construction, windmill farms on Dauphin Island, flux capacitors on vehicles, incentives for river transportation by mule-drawn barge, air traffic congestion reduction through use of hot-air balloons on methane collection from agricultural sources, algae farms on navigable waterways, solar power generation at night

Representative Graham
HB4973
Government control act, Paul Hubbert declared King, tax exemption for bananas to feed 800-pound gorillas

Representative Gipson:
HB3400
Motor vehicles, graduated drivers licensing, babies under two years of age allowed to operate tractors and other farm equipment, elderly to lose privileges as age increases

Representative Dunn:
HB5921
Motor vehicles, criminal penalties, driving under the influence of politics, ignition interlock devices for listening to Rush Limbaugh

Representative McCutcheon:
HB1667
Disclosure, accountability, requiring governor to post on internet flight logs, discretionary fund expenditures and names of visitors at first lady’s garden parties, afternoon teas excepted

Representative Rogers
HB5968
Relating to weight reduction, legalization and promotion of devices for stimulation use related to length of filibusters

Representative McClendon
HB4583
Motor vehicles, prohibits text messaging while driving, allows operation of i-pods, boom boxes, DVD players, satellite televisions, hair dryers, electric shavers, and portable margarita blenders, felony penalties provided for

Representative Ford
HB4287
College tuition stimulus act of 2009 to be known as the Ivey Relief Act

Representative Ward
HB7749
Cockfighting, ultimate goat wrestling, cage sheep fighting, endorsed by the World Wrestling Foundation, further exemption on chicken litter and ruminant manure as authorized and approved by the Alabama Farmers Federation

Representative Hammett
HB9848
Dirt road elimination act, to provide for the elimination of dirt roads in an area of the State of Alabama north of the state of Florida and South of Butler and Crenshaw counties which lies East of Conecuh and Escambia counties and west of Coffee and Geneva Counties.

Representative Hubbard
HB8949
Authorize sports advertising contracts, all state universities, post secondary, K-12, T-ball, youth soccer leagues, limitation 1.5 million tickets, parking spaces restricted to all those within one mile of stadium

Representative Lindsey
HB398
To impose an excise tax on the sale of wool or wool related products in the state of Alabama and direct the proceeds of said tax to the Education Trust Fund, and to further provide for a tax credit for the purchase, manufacture or use of cotton fibers, said credit to be supplanted by funds of the General Fund of the State of Alabama.

Representative Love
HB4987
To provide personal and dependent tax exemptions for those receiving rhytidectomy and for the act to be known as the Pelosi Stimulus Act.

Representative Robinson J
HB3859
Official state song and program, Sweet Home Alabama declared

Representative Bentley
HB3849
Troy King declared the official Attorney General of Alabama, governor’s ill perceived powers checked, lame duck status reconfirmed

Representative Hammon
HB7832
Immigration Act, declared if you can’t spell immigration you can’t stay, English only

Representative Martin
HB6532
Overseas voting allowed, minimum size of bottles and appropriate cork standards imposed, bottles found on the Alabama gulf coast counted, other bottles found along the Florida or Mississippi Gulf coast to be deemed provisional ballots, carrier pigeons excepted

Representative Mask
HB9830
Comic figures regulated, prohibition against public officials posing as comic figures, criminal penalties imposed. Known as the Aubie Unmasking Act of 2009, further Aubie declared the official state mascot.

Representative Barton
HB2239
Dolphin sand bar rebuilding act, to prevent nature’s fury and provide insurance coverage to those building their houses upon the sand

Representative Hall
HB5394
Reagan-Bush day established as official state holiday, Governor Sarah Palin and Rush Limbaugh honored guest at inaugural event to be held in Gulf Shores on June 9, 2009 all Republicans in Senate District 7 to be granted excused absences from employment with full compensation

Representative Allen
HB1129
Prohibiting the using of the left arm to signal right turns, to be known as the Confused Signal Act of 2009, endorsed by Alabama Association for Justice

Representative Vance
HB4960
Purchase of Colonial Bank by Retirement Systems of Alabama, conversion of bank facilities to PGA caliber clubhouses, bent grass to be on bank lawns with free putting green, Dr. David Bronner to be first President, CEO and CFO, former Colonial officers to be MIA.

Representative Page
HB4960
Assault weapons allowed in the work place, small surface to air missiles allowed for backyard use only, excepted from pistol permit requirements

Representative Bridges
HB3567
Exemption of sales tax for the sale of footwear and boots sold within the Alabama statehouse

Representative Scott
HB2059
Prohibition against ATM fees exceeding the value of a single share of bank stock.

Representative Ball
HB4969
Ethics revision, lobbyists prohibited from providing coffee to legislators, Irish coffee excluded, further providing floor privileges to registered lobbyist maintaining a minimum of ten pacs

Newton D
HB2859
Constitutional amendment 4017 proposed, to adopt a new state constitution, to let the people vote on the formation of a constitutional convention to let the people vote on a proposed new state constitution

Representative Guin
HB9999
Declaring this special order the official legislative April Fool’s joke of 2009