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NOTE: Sen. Hank Sanders has written a weekly column for papers in his legislative district for the past twenty years. These rural, weekly papers lack a web presence, and links to the columns are not typically otherwise available. The column below is provided by Sen. Sanders’ office for inclusion in the Daily News Digest.

Senate Sketches # 1099

By

Senator Hank Sanders

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Fatigue makes cowards of us all. These words were spoken by Vince Lombardi, one of the greatest football coaches who ever lived. He felt that when people are confronted with the pain of fatigue, they do things that they ought not to do. Or they fail to do things that they ought to do. I have now come face to face with a variation of Lombardi’s quote: Pain makes cowards of us all.

I thought that I handled pain extremely well. I was told back in 1995 that I should have my knees replaced, and I had gone 13 years without actually having the operations. Pain was a daily reality, and I thought that I could handle pain.

After the operation, I felt like I was handling the pain. I was proud of myself. And then came the pain of rehab. I had committed that I would do whatever exercises asked of me and then some. I was determined.

The first full day of exercises, I reached my limit of pain I could take. I was about to tell the physical therapist that I just couldn’t take any more. And then he said, “This is the last exercise.” I have never been so glad to hear these words. I could have jumped up on my painful knees and embraced the therapist. I made it through the last exercise, but I fully realized that pain makes cowards of us all.

I’ve experienced pain in many forms in the Alabama Senate. There is the physical pain of just moving about. There is the pain of the unknown, not knowing what will happen next. There’s the pain of confrontation. There’s the pain of hopes dashed. There’s the pain of defeat. There’s the pain of disappointment. I thought I was prepared for pain. But now I know pain makes cowards of us all.

The first pain that I struggled to deal with after the operation was not physical pain but the pain of helplessness. Not being able to move my legs. Not being able to bathe myself. Not being able to do anything for myself. I prided myself on being strong and independent so not being able to do for myself produced a powerful psychological pain. I engaged that pain, but it wore on me as each day passed. Pain makes cowards of us all.

Then came the pain of embarrassment. It’s one thing to experience the pain of helplessness. It’s another to feel the pain of embarrassment. When people have to do the most personal and private of things for us, there’s a powerful embarrassment. I struggled to keep the pain of embarrassment from becoming the pain of humiliation. Pain makes cowards of us all.

One of the central ideas of physical therapy is to make us go beyond our limits: beyond our pain limits; beyond our fears; beyond our limits of endurance. And when our entire body burns from the pain of going beyond our limitations, it has a profound impact because pain makes cowards of us all.

Some of my greatest challenges were standing up and sitting down. I soon realized that the pain of fear was the biggest obstacle. Because of my weight, I feared that if I stood up, my legs may not hold up; the pain would more than I could bear; those helping me to stand might not be strong enough to hold me. So I resisted out of fear to my detriment. Pain makes cowards of us all.

My first goal was to conquer the pain of fear. And when I achieved that, I discovered that the pain was always less than anticipated and the worst was always better than anticipated. I embraced my fears, and the gift of struggle was revealed. Then on the fourth full day of rehabilitation, I was overcome by pain again. My right foot seemed to hurt more with each step. After they had walked me for the fifth time, I did not see how I could walk any more. I was watching the clock, hoping that there would not be another round. The therapist walked another woman, and I just knew that there would not be time for me. But there was time.

I noticed that he walked her only half as far as she usually walked. So I thought that he would walk me half as far at most. He walked me the full distance. I made it through it but realized again that pain makes cowards of us all.

Before I thought about quitting, each time I thought about cheating. I could have just not extended myself as much as was required or cut down on the number set for me. I rejected that outright because it would be more honorable to quit than to cheat.

I have kept my commitment to do whatever physical therapy exercises that are asked of me. And I intend to keep my commitment for dealing with my weight. Just as I learned that pain makes cowards of us all, I learned again that courage can overcome anything that would make cowards of us all.

Now on to the Daily Diary.

Saturday - This was my first full day at Lakeshore Rehabilitation Hospital in Birmingham. I arose early and went to rehab. After nearly two strenuous hours, I was glad to be through. I was just glad that I didn’t have to do the three-and-a-half-hours that are done each week day. I had many visitors including Fannie and Bobby McKenzie, and my family decided to celebrate Father’s Day on Saturday rather than Sunday. All during this week, I failed to keep on who all called and visited, so I am missing many people in this week’s Sketches. Still I am thankful for all the calls and visits for they have truly been a salve for the pain.

Sunday - Sunday was a day off from physical therapy. I had lots of visitors and calls including the following: Gullah and Charles and their two grandchildren; LFO director Joyce Bigbee and former Senator Rick Manly; Senator Vivian Davis Figures and her relative Marilyn Figures; Dr. Paul Hubbert and his wife Ann; Alphonso Morton of Greene County; Abina Billups of Selma; Carolyn Gaines Varner, Ebony Gaines and Zakyia Varner of Selma; Dr. James Mitchell, President of Wallace Community College Selma, and his wife Priscilla; and others. My wife Faya Rose has stayed virtually every night to help care for me while running back to Selma each day.

Monday - I had several visitors including Porter Banister with the University of Alabama at Birmingham; Kirk Wheeler of Chattanooga and his daughter Sharon Wheeler, who picked up last week’s Sketches; Representative Merika Coleman; and David Gaines of Birmingham. I received calls from Senator Bobby Denton, Carolyn Wheeler and others.

Tuesday - I enjoyed a long visit with State School Superintendent Dr. Joe Morton, who brought me a basket of delicious Chilton County peaches. I also had a good visit with Anita Archie of the Two-Year College System. I had calls from former Lt. Gov. George McMillan and others, and I spoke with John Zippert about his wife, Dr. Carol P. Zippert, who just had neck surgery. Ola Morrow and Sharon Wheeler helped me with Senate Sketches. A fellow patient named Sue sent her daughter to Books-A-Million to buy my novel, Death of a Fat Man, which she had me sign. We have become each other’s biggest cheerleaders. She is a former teacher, having taught sixth grade for 39 years. We discussed how important the Alabama Education Association (AEA) is to Alabama, not just in education, but on so many other fronts.

Wednesday - I enjoyed visits from the following: attorney Bubba Grimsley of Birmingham; Doris Strode of Greene County; Kenneth Diggs and his wife of Montgomery; Kelly Butler and Joyce Bigbee of LFO; Ola Morrow of Maplesville; Alabama Power’s Margaret Bentley and her husband; and Clark Arrington, who now lives in Africa. I received calls from Senate President Pro Tem Hinton Mitchem, Senator Quinton Ross; Senator Lowell Barron; lobbyist Don Gilbert; Etta Samford of my church; attorney Collins Pettaway; Barnett Hayes and Gloria Pompey of Selma; and Selma High School Basketball Coach Woody Jackson, who is a member of my Sunday School Class. I participated in a conference call with Joyce Bigbee, Senator Roger Bedford and Representative John Knight concerning potential litigation involving the Alabama Senate. I talked with Dr. Carol P. Zippert.

Thursday - I visited with the following: Roger and Roberta Watts of Alabama New South Coalition; Barbara and Horace Brown from Selma; Tom Whatley with the Alabama Chief Justice’s office; attorney Sabra Barnett; Senator Linda Coleman; Joyce Bigbee; Dr. James Mitchell; Representative Merika Coleman; and Sharon Wheeler with the Senate President Pro Tem’s office, to whom I dictated Sketches. I received calls from Senator Parker Griffith; Senator Steve French; Senator Lowell Barron; AEA’s Dr. Paul Hubbert; Senator Bobby Denton; Lt. Gov. Jim Folsom; Norma Jackson of Twenty-First Century Youth Leadership; Sharon Calhoun of Montgomery; Senator Kim Benefield, Senate President Pro Tem Hinton Mitchem; and others.

Friday - I enjoyed a long visit from Randy Wilhelm, Lt. Gov. Jim Folsom’s former chief of staff and Paulette Williams, who is recovering here from hip replacement surgery and who happens to be the mother of Rep. Merika Coleman. I talked to Senate President Pro Tem Hinton Mitchem; Senator E.B. McClain; Dr. Daniel Boyd, the Superintendent of Lowndes County Schools; Yvette Patterson with the Lowndes County Board of Education; Dr. James Mitchell; and others.

EPILOGUE - Sometimes we really think we know ourselves. And then along comes the squeeze of reality, and we are forced to go beyond our limitations. We have a choice. We can do it with courage, or we can do it with cowardice. Even as I know that pain makes cowards of us all, I hope that I am meeting these tests with courage.

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