Alabama Politics in
Doc’s Political Parlor
& Home of Lawn Mower Repair

10.  State Sen. Zeb Little hopes Santa Claus can get him a refund for all those "Sheila Kretzschmar for State House District 12" signs stacked up in his garage.

 9.  Gov. Bob Riley wants a longer coat. You know, one with tails.

 8.  Former Judge Herman Thomas has been bad this year, so all he gets is a paddle. Which actually kinda works out okay.

 7.  State Rep. Mickey Hammon wants Santa Claus to do his job and go back home.

 6.  Sen. Hinton Mitchem would like just one more teensy-weensy vote for his caucus.

 5.  Ron Sparks hopes Hillary will hire a male secretary - of Agriculture.

 4.  Sen. Scott Beason wants some evidence that Santa speaks English before he drives that sleigh around here.

 3.  State Finance Director (and Supreme Court hopeful) Jim Main hopes Santa can bring him a resume' that somehow, somehow, doesn’t have Beasley/Allen on it.

 2.  Partisans wish Peace On Earth, Goodwill to Men, except to those #%&&!!!s on the other side.

 1.  The state Senate wants a ban on Pac-to-Pac transfers. No, really, we mean it this time, Santa. Seriously. Santa?! Please! Wait! Listen! SANTA!

20.  Charles Nailen? Dude, just a handful more votes in the Self-Appointed Wiregrass Congressional Selection Committee.

19.  Lt. Gov. Jim Folsom wishes something will happen in 2008 that he can take credit for in 2010.

18.  Don Siegelman wants faster stenographers for Judge Mark Fuller.

17.  Trey Glenn would like some place to redeem those ADEM frequent flyer miles.

16.  Bradley Byrne hopes that it’s not too much to ask that the bad guys in the two-year college system continue to be both corrupt and dumb.

15.  Lowell Barron wants Jasper resident Butterbean - to watch his back, baby.

14.  New Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford would enjoy his own personal rendition of “There’s No Place Like Dome for the Holidays.”

13.  State GOP chair Mike Hubbard? HD 12.

12.  The DCCC hopes Santa Claus will bring them Bobby Bright.

11.  Randy Brinson wants your email address.

Joe Reed wishes not to create another fuhrer… er… furor.

New Auburn offensive coordinator Tony Franklin will take the change-of-address cards that new Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford never got around to using.

Alabamians, especially the state’s Water Boards, wish Santa Claus would seed a few clouds on his way through.

Lowell Barron wants jujitsu lessons for self-defense.

Lucy Baxley wants a Montgomery address in 2008.

Don Siegelman wishes he hadn’t made it so easy to say his administration was corrupt.

The Justice Department wishes they hadn’t made it so easy to say politics was behind the Siegelman prosecution.

Lowell Barron wants a mouth guard.

Sen. Charles Bishop wants his colleagues to have short memories.

Lt. Governor Jim Folsom would like a spring action gavel.

Birmingham mayoral runner-up Patrick Cooper wants a do-over.

Don Siegelman wishes for a Monopoly game to use the get-out-of-jail-free card.

Jim Folsom wishes for a thesaurus to find antonyms for the word “deadlock” and “shutdown.”

Jay Love wishes to find someone who actually believes he needs contributions.

Harri Anne Smith wishes that Mike Swinehart will not lose another campaign.

Milton McGregor wishes for Medicaid increases to make gambling more attractive.

Bob Riley wishes Mike Huckabee would go away so that someone will pay attention to him as a VP running mate.

Alabama Game Wardens wish to remind you reindeer are not in season.

Alabama State Troopers wish to remind Santa, “Click it or Ticket”.

Your local legislator wishes to remind you their fingerprints are on a grant checks.

Bob Riley wishes to remind party members they should listen to him.

E.B. McClain wishes to say he did not ask for consulting fees.

Senators Bedford and Knight want an exact figure now for next year’s medicaid budget.

Lowell Barron wishes Marquis of Queensbury rules were in effect.

ADEM wishes interest in its accomplishments would displace interest in its plane.

Joshua Segall wishes you to know he is really serious about running.

Luther Strange wishes he knew what he was running for.

Beth Chapman wishes to remind you she will be running again.

Milton McGregor wishes to thank Birmingham Mayor Larry Langford for the rapid appreciation in value of his real estate holdings.

Editorial Writers wish every problem can be solved with mass transit and a pre kg program.

Rudy Giuliani, not a Mormon by faith, wishes Americans will embrace the idea of multiple wives.

Mitt Romney wishes Mike Huckabee would have taken the head coaching job at Arkansas.

The national GOP wants Santa to bring them a November ‘08 miracle.

Decatur City Council wishes Santa has insurance and a sleigh driver’s license.

Jim Folsom wishes his gavel was Thor’s hammer.

Alabama road builders wish to pave Santa’s way.

The Black Belt wishes for a four lane high way and a reason for people to come visit.

Alabama Attorneys wish they never heard of asbestos.

Alabama attorneys wish they could deny any knowledge of Dickie Scruggs.

Hank Erwin wishes everyone was armed and dangerous.

Ron Sparks wishes people knew how cozy the cat bird seat is.

Alabama drys wish you a sober new year.

Alabama candidates wish P.T. Barnum’s dictums weren’t true.

Alabama’s children wish Legislators (politicians) would act like adults.

Alabama’s tax payers wish their taxes were lower.

Alabama’s Constitution wishes it could join the other Constitutions on the Repealed List.

Alabama’s Troopers wish to work one less wreck a shift.

Alabama’s prison guards wish they weren’t the few and brave.

Alabama’s prisoners wish they weren’t the many and the ignored.

Alabama’s foster children wish they had a future.

Alabama’s reformers wish legislators are as smart as them.

Alabama citizens wish their pet project was funded at some one else’s expense.

Alabama citizens wish they did not have to pay for the pet projects of some one else.

Emory Folmar wishes no one remembers Sunday ABC store openings.

Creeks wish for the shining casino by the bay.

Prisons wish they were built like the TARDIS, bigger inside than outside.

Alabama wishes for the second coming of the Bear.

Many still wish for the days of a single party state.

Walker County officials wish electronic bingo was never invented.

The Creeks wish all those immigrants go back where they came from.

Responsibility wishes it was discovered by Legislators (sub Integrity, Courage, frugality etc).

Alabama Democrats wish they had party unity.

Alabama Republicans wish for a few votes more.

Alabama deer hunters wish for a few bucks more.

The Machine wishes you never heard of it.

USA Medical Center wishes people would mention it when UAB is mentioned.

Alabama’s school children wish they didn’t have to supply their own paper towels and soap.

Alabama’s school children wish their diplomas mean something.

Alabama’s school children wish they only had one fund drive a year.

Alabama’s drivers wish State Troopers stay far away.

Alabama’s reformers wish everyone sees all of the state’s problems could be solved with a new constitution.

Water boards wish for more rain.

Lodmell, Figures, wish people won’t shake their heads when they talk about winning.

The Majority Leader wishes legislators would remember to rewrite his weekly columns they send out as their own. He also wishes Lea Fite would remember to delete the “prepared by the Majority Leader” from his column (seen this month).

Rob Riley wishes he never met Dana Simpson.

Alvin Holmes wishes for two sets of Alabama/Auburn tickets.

Don Siegelman wishes people saw his halo.

Everybody wishes Bobby Bright would make a decision.

Bishop wishes everyone respects their mother.

Bob Riley wishes his son remembers a gentleman never brags.

State Rep. Alvin Holmes? Two tickets to next year’s Auburn-Alabama game, of course.

Judge Fuller wishes the transcript was done.

Folsom wishes for a chance to show leadership.

Larry Langford wishes for a gold chain, ring and stole like the Lord Mayor of London.

Troy King wishes people would understand he does not make law.

Every legislator, all 140 of them, want your tax dollars added to their discretionary fund stockings to help them buy their re-election in 2010.

Bobby Bright wants a political compass.

Hundreds of lobbyists want wider hallways.

Alvin Holmes wants an apology from AU and UofA.

Bob Riley wants the impossible - a Republican majority in the legislature.

Alabamians want less of the same.

Lowell wants a mouth guard.

Troy wants a luxury box/ laxer ethics rules/ relevancy.